"I’m not a pig, I’m not a pug , my tail hasn’t been docked. I didn’t run in to a wall or get hit in the face with a frying pan.I do not bite - but my owner is another matter altogether. That noise is how I breathe, I’m not growling at your child. I’m not so ugly I’m almost cute - and anyone who’d say that is so stupid they’re almost smart. I’M AN ENGLISH BULLDOG AND I’M PERFECT IN EVERY WAY;)"